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The Socially Adept Sheepandgoats

The local newspaper highlights the top 5’s in singles, albums, DVD’s, movies, TV shows…all the neat categories. On top is the byline "Just so you know….in case it comes up."

I went to a party a while back, and it did come up. Fool that I am, I had not read the lists.

Partygoer 1: Hey, look who’s here! Tom Sheepandgoats!
Partygoer 2: Tom, what’s happening?
Tom Sheepandgoats: Hey.
Partygoer 1: How about that new #1 song. Tom Sheepandgoats? What do ya think?
Tom Sheepandgoats: Yeah….(gulp) ….it‘s….nice.
I stuffed pretzels in my mouth to buy time.
Partygoers 1 and 2: Nice?! Tom, you’re a beaut! C’mon, what did you really think?
Tom Sheepandgoats: Uh…it was….way cool. I so liked it.   [better change the subject]   By the way, what do you think George Bush is…..
Partygoer 3: Who cares? What about the song, Tom Sheepandgoats? What do you like about it?

Since we were talking issues, quite a few had begun to gather.

Partygoers 1-12, at intervals: Yeah, Tom Sheepandgoats, yeah. Tell us, what did you like about it?

Tom Sheepandgoats: Well…I…uh….like the….uh….harmony.
Partygoers 1-20: On a rap song???

Partygoer on the other side of room: Hey, how ‘bout that Scarlet Johansen from that new hit movie? Is she one hot babe, or what?
As one person, partygoers 1-20 abandoned me for the new light.

It only worsened. Here and there I ventured a remark about personal fulfillment, family, or spirituality. But my party mates just rolled their eyes. I didn’t know the lists, and they knew I didn’t know. Was it my imagination, or did I hear the host and hostess bickering over just whose bright idea it was to invite me anyhow?

I understand their disappointment. After all, if one does not know the top 5’s, what…..and let us not mince words here….what good is he?

I won’t repeat the blunder. When I fetch the paper now, I read the lists straightaway. It may….it certainly will….come up again. But no one has invited me anywhere since.

Defending Jehovah’s Witnesses with style from attacks... in Russia, with the book ‘I Don’t Know Why We Persecute Jehovah’s Witnesses—Searching for the Why’ (free).... and in the West, with the book, 'In the Last of the Last Days: Faith in the Age of Dysfunction'


Romulus Crowe

I don't read those lists either, and I admit I have little patience with people who consider them important.

Rather than admit you don't know, I'd recommend responding with an honest 'don't care'. There are far more important uses for the human brain than the accumulation of trivia.

I wouldn't feel too bad about not being invited to those parties. I wouldn't go to them anyway.

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