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To Joe Jeanette

New Two Tier Meeting Prep Service Announced

There's no sense in donning sackcloth of false modesty. Fact is that the Whitepebble Religious Institute is revolutionizing the world of religious study preparation, just like Apple revolutionizing the field of anything they touch with cool gadgets.

The Institute launched two exciting new services recently, and held a news conference to maximize momentum. To the oohs and aahs of thrilled reporters, spokesman Tom Wheatandweeds demonstrated a new two-tier underlining service. The news media was spellbound. Why had no one thought of such a convenience before?

Far and away the best method to prepare and to let others know you have prepared your religious instruction is to underline the material. The lazy students read but do not underline, which accomplishes the first goal but not the second. The really lazy students do neither. These are the students who gripe how boring this or that meeting is, when they themselves are the hangup. The same principle of preparation applies to any learning setting - college, for example.

Nevertheless, it is not for the Institute to lecture or moralize, but only to capitalize on trends. So for a flat yearly fee, a subscriber will receive all study materials already underlined.

Of course, this is not new. Other such services exist. But the brilliance of the Whitepebble method lies in the realization that, whereas people are always looking over your shoulder to see if you’ve prepared or not, they’re not looking too closely! Therefore, underlined study material is satisfactory; there is no need for the lines to be in the correct places! Thus, the subscriber choosing this service recognizes significant cost savings, since any donkey at the Institute can prepare these “close-enough” lessons, and do so while he or she is working on other projects! (multi-tasking)

They’re always innovating, those Whitepebble people!

The meetings of Jehovah’s Witnesses are all educational in nature. They thus differ significantly from most church services, which may feature
(depending on the specific church) new-age pep talks, politics, hooting and stomping, raising money, concerts, and tearjerker (or hellfire) preaching. The Watchtower study, for example, consists of a one-hour Q&A session. Material prepared in advance and available to all (in the Watchtower magazine) revolves around such themes as practical application of Bible principles, family life, the ministry, prophetic patterns, maintaining faith, Christian morality, theocratic history, and the like. The conductor, ideally, does not make speeches of his own, but serves only to moderate comments and keeps the lesson on track. You glean insights from the study material and from each other’s comments. It is spiritual education which you can prepare for, and it helps one to keep heart and mind straight in an ever sickening world.


Tom Irregardless and Me       No Fake News but Plenty of Hogwash

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