Pedophiles, Priests, and Jehovah's Witnesses
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They Will Come as Sheep in Llama's Clothing

Since I started blogging, I've received many comments saying that, in spite of my name Sheepandgoats, the animals in my profile picture are not sheep and goats. I've paid no heed. Surely those comments were submitted by religious cranks intent on making me trouble or otherwise distracting me from my Mission.

However, this year for Ground Hog Day, my wife gave me the handsome coffee table book All About Animals. I thumbed through the pictures and… golly, they were right! Those animals are not sheep and goats. They are creatures from South America called llamas.

From Wikipedia

The llama (Lama glama) is a South American camelid, widely used as a pack animal by the Incas[1] and other natives of the Andes mountains. In South America llamas are still used as beasts of burden, as well as for the production of fiber and meat.[2]
The height of a full-grown, full-size llama is between 5.5 feet (1.6 meters) to 6 feet (1.8 m) tall at the top of the head. They can weigh between approximately 280 pounds (127 kilograms) and 450 pounds (204 kilograms). At birth, a baby llama (called a cria) can weigh between 20 pounds (9 kilograms) to 30 pounds (14 kilograms). Llamas are very social animals and like to live with other llamas as a herd. Overall, the fiber produced by a llama is very soft and is naturally lanolin free. Very intelligent, llamas learn simple tasks after a few repetitions. When using a pack, llamas can carry about 25% - 30% of their body weight for several miles.[3]
Llamas originated from the central plains of North America about 40 million years ago. They migrated to South America and Asia about 3 million years ago. By the end of the last ice-age (10,000 - 12,000 years ago) camelids were extinct in North America.[3] As of 2007, there were over 7 million llamas and alpacas in South America and due to importation from South America in the late 20th century there are now over 100,000 llamas and 6,500 - 7,000 alpacas in the US and Canada.[4]

Here: (not via Wikipedia) are pictures of actual llamas.

2_llama 1_llama

Now be honest. Mine look more handsome, don’t they?

How should I rectify this error? Of course, I could just flat out apologize, but….you know, I hate to admit being wrong. Moreover, might not an apology trigger lawsuits from readers outraged at being deceived so long? Be assured I did much soul-searching. In the end, stickler for accuracy that I am, honest conscience won out.

There! I’ve made a clean breast of things. Nobody can say I haven’t. And as an added bonus, for any misled readers who now have no idea what sheep and goats really look like, I found a site with lots of informative pictures. It is (not surprisingly)

The people involved with this site appear fine and upright and have no connection with me. I notice that they sell sheep and goats. For the sake of authenticity and to prove to all that I am not a charlatan, I ought to buy one of each. Trouble is, I've grown attached to these llamas and I'm not sure they would get along. Winged Migration Man told me llamas can be "ornery."


Alright,'s a lighthearted post. I admit it. But the atmosphere is lighthearted these days. It’s Lilac Festivalhere in Rochester. I've tentatively put the snow shovel away. Spring has pounced upon us emphatically. And I am about to take a stroll through the lilacs with the lovely Mrs. Sheepandgoats.  How can a person not be lighthearted about such things?

So far music highlights at the festival include Donna the Buffalo(another animal!....I like this group already), a backwoodsy Appalachian band with huge energy that had everyone bouncing. The female vocalist plays every sort of hillybilly instrument under the sun.....she must be Donna, you can't help but think. But no, their website tells us....the band just has a thing for Appalachia and buffalos. Here and there in the crowd you'd spot people in DtB sweatshirts: a goofy cavedrawing of a buffalo on the front, "herd of em?" on the back.

Earlier in the program was a young woman just now finding notice, Alyssa Coco, still in high school [!], who appeared with keyboard and three backup musicians, including a drummer so immersed in his material I could only think of a bobblehead. Mrs. Sheepandgoats liked her music, so I bought my wife a CD. I think it was the singer's mom at the CD table. That's fine at Lilac Festival, which is family oriented. You couldn't do it at the Water Street Music Hall.


Tom Irregardless and Me     No Fake News But Plenty of Hogwash

Defending Jehovah’s Witnesses with style from attacks... in Russia, with the book ‘I Don’t Know Why We Persecute Jehovah’s Witnesses—Searching for the Why’ (free).... and in the West, with the book, 'In the Last of the Last Days: Faith in the Age of Dysfunction'


Romulus Crowe

Did I ever give you that 'Llama song' link?

You probably wouldn't thank me for it.

tom sheepandgoats

Would or wouldn't? At any rate, I never received it.

Be careful. Llamas can spit a long ways, you know.

Romulus Crowe

Here it is:

I accept no responsibility for anyone's inability to get it out of their heads afterwards. It's been running around in mine for years!


I think it's cute. I wonder if it was made by the same people who brought us the Badger Song?

But since this blog isn't associated with badgers, I suppose that's off topic!

tom sheepandgoats

I confess I just now played both songs for the first time. Yes, they are of roughly equal quality. Fine additions to this post from both of you guys. Thank you. I began to worry that neither song would ever end and, for all I know, they never did.

Ed Hughes

Mr. Tom Sheepandgoats,
As folks are fond of saying, I have been somewhat indisposed for some time as I took a slow boat to South America to check on the legitimacy of the description of the Llama and the other Camelid; the Alpaca. No one forewarned me that the Andes, which is where these creatures (camelids) hang out these days. I had read in your article “They Will Come as Sheep in Llamas Clothing” that these creatures migrated (where have we heard that before) from our homeland to their present address (South America). I started the real journey in northern South America and that confused me somewhat (I became disoriented about north and south), I knew the seasons were different but I was not sure about the directions, so I asked the locals "which way are the Andes", and overcoming the language barrier with much concentration I finally understood what the locals were telling me (Go south young man, go south). As I had heard a similar expression in my childhood I felt that must be good advice. They, (the knowledgeable locals) were pointing in the direction to go. Your article mentioned the Llamas migrated to South America, I was fairly sure they must have walked (3 million years ago there was no transportation, and the Llamas probably did not have bus fare anyway). So I walked, and I walked, and I walked, while all the time asking about where the Llamas and the Alpacas were. I came to a town after a considerable length of time and found there was a person that spoke as I do (that is how the locals described him). It turns out he could also speak as they did, so they indicated to me that they would go and fetch him. I sat and rested and before long he found me and we talked. I asked him where the Llamas and the Alpacas were and he said the Yankees had taken all those creatures back to the northern country of the Americas, and the locals had eaten most of the remaining creatures.

I was disappointed at first but then he told me that Wikipedia, which is not a good source, and the typical College or University, which requires its students to have a computer, and internet access, does not allow any reference, on submitted papers, to Wikipedia because anyone can change the contents of any subject on Wikipedia if they are shrewd enough.

This knowing person then told me that the Vicuna and the Guanaco which are nearly identical to the Llama and Alpaca are also residents of the South American Andes, but the white man did not know much about these creatures so they were safe for the time being. They would probably not be imported to northern North America, or southern Northern America or the southern part of the great American North West of North America any time soon because the article on these creatures did not even mention them.

There remains the possibility that you could generate another article on your site and maybe label it “They Will come as Sheep in Llamas, Alpacas, Vicunas or Guanacos Clothing” just to eliminate the confusion of what species has been the concern of the initial reference.

Respectfully Submitted,

tom sheepandgoats

WMM: I can't sneak anything past you, can I? Most impressive research, I assure you, comparable to the factfinding trips of Christopher Columbus or Neil Armstrong.

I've wondered where you were. I should have known from your prior comments that you would distrust anything from Wikapedia and run off to verify things. You've missed an honorable mention or two while you were gone.

Ed Hughes

Blogger, of Sheep and Goats,

I explained that my absence for that period was for taking a nap, and to check on fauna of this world, but you know how the elderly are? That’s rhetorical. I have been striving to keep up with the computer literate groups that generate blogs and have all the answers to supply all us unknowing folks with. Bear with me (this is not another expedition to look for those large omnivorous creatures) but a request to listen to how I am upgrading myself. So far I have received new ears, not those things that flap externally from my head, but the holes in my head have received inserts that now allow me to hear things I was missing before. And as a bonus, If there is something I want to miss I now just turn these things off grin every once in awhile, and say “go dude” on occasion. This is a new high in communications. I had new eyes put in a while back – not eyes exactly, but intraocular lenses – I now have a new outlook on life, so to speak. My latest upgrade has been the installation of a computer to rejuvenate my old worn out ticker; it monitors my every heartbeat and if something goes astray this computer corrects the problem. I am presently trying to get the Drs. to connect this device into my brain to detect and correct the many problems that occur there. These are some of the things that have been consuming my time, and you have been wondering where I was!

I've wondered where you were. I should have known from your prior comments that you would distrust anything from Wikapedia and run off to verify things. You've missed an honorable mention or two while you were gone. (your words)

When I was capable of lighting off the confuzer again, finding this internet thingy and looking for any pearls left for me, in my absence, I did come across your words. I waited with bated breath to receive the accolades, honors, and praises which had been gathered and were in extreme abundance, ready to be strewn at my feet, very similar to the way that your pearls are spread for various other accolade absorbing occasions. By the way those accolades were something else. I have not enjoyed anything quite so much since my last skull fracture. I could not have been more impressed by your sincerity but I am afraid I can not live up to the likes of Chamberlain, anyone by that time in the world’s history who could not see through the policies of Hitler should have been under a doctors care rather than in one of the highest positions of government. And as far as C. Columbus is concerned, we of the Apache Nation do not rate him too high.

You also questioned the members of the submarine force about their willingness to want to observe the universal peace symbol; unfortunately we had a small percentage of individuals that chose to be dissenters after a length of time in the service of their country. The Navy is quite clear about each individuals responsibility and conduct if they are involved in any nuclear weapons aspect, this was called the reliability program (some referred to it as the big brother watching program) and if one did anything to violate the rules of this program they were removed from any access to nuclear weapons material or documentation. There were occasions that Sailors would grow tired of their duties of making deterrent patrols and performing as they swore to do by raising their right hand and repeating their oath. I had 3 different Sailors say they no longer believed in the concept of “the major deterrent to nuclear war, by the threat of using nuclear weapons to deter the enemy from creating a first strike ”. This generally meant that the person would be removed from the reliability program and the Submarine. Of these Sailors, 2, went to the Chaplain on the Submarine Tender and told him they no longer believed in nuclear weapons deterrence and with that they expected to be removed from the Submarine. They were removed from the reliability program but I as the Submarine COB went to the Executive Officer and convinced him we needed these 2 individuals because every individual on the Submarine is needed, and we would be short on watch standers but we could scrape by. These two individuals were very qualified Missile Compartment Supervisors and it was probably a month before we could recover from that loss. But they did perform duties that helped the ship, I made one of them my laundry queen (who is responsible for doing all the ship laundry) and I made the other one a mess cook (KP duty for most services). These individuals were not allowed to leave the Operations Compartment of the Submarine, all the watch standers in the adjacent compartments were made aware of these 2 individuals. These two individuals were fully trained Missile Technicians and were not belligerent about their status but they were not happy campers for the next 70 days. And I kept my fingers crossed for that entire 70 day patrol period.

The other Sailor that had himself removed from the reliability program was treated in a like manner but I assigned him to the TDU (trash disposal unit) also in the operations compartment. This was a different patrol period with the same overall result. We did have dissenters but they were few and far between, all these Sailors on Submarines were volunteers and performed at their top level most of the time, but we were only human and subject to human failures.

I have missed a lot of the congratulatory words that are chosen with such expertise and sent to myself and others. I am a humble person and it is not necessary to heap this praise on me, but my Mama would like to see these words, I do not know if she has internet access. Will advise at some later date.


tom sheepandgoats

Your history of upgrading yourself calls to mind a warehouse setting in which I once worked where the radio was always on. The older guy across from me didn't care for today's music that much. When it got especially raucous, he would exclaim "Oh for crying out loud!" and remove his hearing aids back to their case.

You're a better sport than he was. You say "Go, dude!" He was less complimentary.

The naval policy makes sense. Ellston Trevor wrote a novel a while back (very gripping) in which the main character....commander of some nuclear squadron in, I think, Africa....disassembled his nuke rather than obey orders to launch it. And then took his own life!

Sorry, I can't recall the title. And I realize that does not represent MAD, which appears to have worked for the decades it was around. It's more like the novel one of your three dissenters would have written. It's well you didn't assign them to LD (literary detail).

Ed Hughes

Dear Tom of the Sheep and Goats,
I have been following your animal ways and with all the knowledge you now possess, having a coffee table book and a valuable computer where good and bad, and definitely voluminous amounts of animal facts may be found, you pull the references as if by magic from the WWW. I, of course, follow these references you point out with religious fervor and attempt to glean the full meaning of each site. The main page of did indeed show contented animals. I question the one on the very bottom of that page, is that supposed to point to their computer skills, and if so is that a RAM disk or do ewe know? I had a harrowing time with that page, the page on Little Lambs shows them at a very young age, but they appear to be content as well, even though very tiny.


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