Once our elders muzzled Ray Rattyon, comments at our Kingdom Hall took off. Not immediately. There was dead air for a time, as the friends adjusted to the idea that they  too, might get a turn.

There is nothing worse than a brother or sister who rattles on and on. Congregations that find the friends do not comment can fix the problem by gagging the windbags. If they do not, the average publisher rolls his eyes and gives up. In time, he gives up preparing.

Thirty seconds or less. Elders should insist upon it. They need not be like Hitler over it, but Mussolini is okay.  It's not the end of the world if one or two slip by occasionally. But it is if it becomes a torrent.

Elders should be reminded of it (privately). They will come on board, for it is counsel from Bethel. They all know it. They just worry about hurting Ray's feelings, but with tact, they can explain it to him in a way he will accept. They probably do not even have to speak with Ray. They should simply state the '30 second or less' goal frequently, Rather than 'encourage your comments,' it should be 'encourage your comments in 30 seconds or less.' Not only does that allow for more comments, but it helps Ray to speak and think more concisely, which is a good thing. if he learns to do it here, perhaps he will learn to do it at the door, and householders will not flee in terror as he approaches.

Don't discourage Ray. It's an adjustment for him. He's been in the truth forever and he really does have good things to say. Thank the congregation when it keeps comments brief.

After Colombine, newspeople said that grief counselors had been dispatched, with the same air as they might use reporting that fire fighters had been dispatched to the house fire. “I’d love to hear what they have to say,” I told one woman in service. Her eyes got big. “You have an interesting job!” she exclaimed.

But it’s not as interesting as Ezekiel’s.

“Honey, I’m hooomme!”

“Ezekiel. How was your day?”

“Great! Today I bored a hole through the wall and carried out some luggage.”

“Daddy, Daddy,” the children come running to embrace him. “That sounds like fun. Can we do that?”

“Ha, ha, you’ll have to ask your mother first. Remember, she didn’t like it much when you crayoned on that wall.”

“How did you get that bump on your head, Ezekiel?”

“My boss had me cover my face so that I couldn’t see where I was going. Some of the guys at the assignment – it really is a rebellious place – said that I should report him to OSHA! Some of the other guys asked me what it meant that I was doing.”

“And what did you tell them?”

“I told them it meant they were toast.”

“Oh, honey, I’m so proud of you!”

“Thank you, dear. It was almost as fun as my gig last week, lying on my side naked staring at a brick.”

“It’s a wonder you didn’t catch your death of cold.”   

I have a lot of comments the spiritual gems portion of the meeting this week. The trouble is, will any of them be 30 seconds or less? (Highlights from Ezekiel 12)

Every Witness is on the lookout for gestures to spice up a talk.

The best gesture I have ever seen was given by a wiry birdlike brother who pointed out that, while Jehovah takes care of the birds and they need not be anxious, they also do not tilt back in their easy chairs. Birds are always working, he pointed out, and then with his own nose, rapid-pecked at the podium as though pecking for seed!

I can also picture a 'gesture' to use if you were trying to convey the overwhelming and unsuspected power of sexual attraction to inexperienced young people who chafe at whatever restrictions their parents may impose. I haven't used it yet, but I will.

I would be as if in outer space, slowly and leisurely approaching a black hole, so as to casually look into it. It would seem so enjoyable, until I suddenly yanked myself by the tie into the microphone.

I mean, it's powerful stuff, that sexual attraction. One of the five things that Solomon couldn't figure out. (Actually, he didn't learn from experience much did he?)