A 30-ish, I would guess, reporter attended one of this year's regional conventions, this one in New Orleans, and wrote some reasonably nice things about it. He didn’t fall upon his face and do a Zechariah 8:23 – ‘We will go with you people, for we have heard that God is with you people’ – but considering his non-religious reporter background, I’ll take what he did write and thank him for it. You don't have to quibble over every little thing.
Since I have time on my hands, and no, I was not notified by an attendant (guard), let me see if I can respond to a few things he raised. His words are in italics. Mine in regular font.
The Jehovah's Witnesses' Annual Convention Was So Organized It Was Creepy.
They are extremely organized. It might strike one as creepy who is not used to it.
Aside from the occasional door-to-door visits and that one time, which I still feel guilty about, when my brother drenched some evangelists with water balloons from our second-story bedroom window, I had never really met a Jehovah's Witness.
It took me two trips to the dry cleaners to get those water marks out of my suit.
Also, I knew Prince was a member, and any religious group that could claim Prince as one of their own was either extremely terrifying or weirdly edgy and almost cool.
The ebook Tom Irregardless and Me contains the most complete, and perhaps only, written compilation of Prince’s JW life. It is in the free download section.
…they even took care of cleaning, despite the Superdome's retainer on dozens of janitors.
It may be the only event for which they get time off. The Witnesses usually show up a day beforehand for a massive scrub-down.
One Superdome employee said to me, "These guys are guarding the elevators like Obama is here."
As far as I know, he did not come. He would have been invited, but may have been hard to reach.
Plus, their floral-printed dresses and charcoal suits made most guests look like they were dressed for a wake.
If one is not used to seeing folks dressed up, and it is a rarety today, the sight could easily give that impression.
As a further sign of their top-down control of every aspect of the convention, or maybe just a tight budget, none of the concession booths were open.
It is like that in every convention and has always been. People brown-bag it. However, go back far enough to the 50’s or so and there were makeshift kitchens set up & taken down to serve a full meal to every attendee. Food arrangements have progressively streamlined since then.
It's a bit unsettling to realize you're one of the only people in a room of nearly 40,000 who think you're not destined for heaven, and not even destined for the earthly paradise that the remaining Jehovah's Witnesses will inherit after all the other degenerate heathens like me are abruptly taken out by the apocalypse. Their beliefs are their beliefs after all, but I don't often contemplate the afterlife in the presence of a group whose faith is so relentless. It's convert or burn, and that's heavy s**t, man. [**’s mine]
We would not phrase matters this way. We just try to bring the gospel to as many as we can, and after that things are out of our hands. As the expression goes: “It ain’t over till the fat lady sings.” (though we would not phrase matters that way, either)
There was a big, climactic event on the bill that sounded like it was supposed to be a live drama depicting something from the Book of Something.
Jonah. it was from the Book of Jonah. Actually, it was the entire book, which is overall quite short.
…everyone was wearing way too much makeup. It was like a B movie made by the Bible Channel.
I actually thought the movie was pretty good, overall. They have come a long ways in a short time, and once were downright cheesy. Great attention is paid that all props are historically accurate. It may be that you just miss the Hollywood pizzazz in which Moses pops Pharaoh in the nose and gets the girl. Admittedly, they are not paid actors. They, too, are volunteers.
a bunch of men walked around holding "Quiet Please" signs that had already been made.
This happens before all sessions, as it takes participants a while to break off visiting with friends they may not have seen for a long time.
But while I still don't understand the Jehovah's Witness faith or its people, and while I may still think of them as cult-addled nuts, they're still just people.
You know, I’ll take this. I appreciate it. And I really do like the article for its reminder of the first impression we make on many today.
But they also like peanut butter sandwiches.
I hate to think of the garbage I might be eating were it not for my wife, who attends to such things far better than I do.
...and they especially like organizing conventions.
The exact program is reproduced hundreds of times during the year around the world, each with the same degree of organization, so as to serve every member. Ours was in Rochester, and here is a post on a previous one.