OH NO! I just texted the congregation secretary that I had so many hours in the ministry during January, so many return visits, and I had shown sex videos.

It was supposed to be SIX videos! Curse that auto-correct! May its inventor rot in hello!

SIX videos I played. SIX! All wholesome as the day is long! Nothing else! SIX! One of them was even a Caleb and Sophia video!

Am I in trouble? “Yep,” Rocco said.

But surely my friends will support me:

“Well... Auto-correct does use the words that you use most often,” Richard cheerfully pointed out. I told him that I had never said that 3-letter word in my life!

“You obviously have never given the #13 Public Talk (The Godly View of Sex and Marriage),” his buddy responded. “The title and most sections of the talk use this word and many others that are in related categories.” I told him how I used to start on that talk but when I got to the S-word I began to blush and stammer and ultimately would have to get down from the platform, leaving 25 minutes up for grabs.

”You are in so much trouble,” MimZ said, who isn’t even a Witness! What does she care?

They were all of them wholesome videos that I showed! Six of them! They were so wholesome that even Mr. Rogers would be asking for something more racy! Six, all pure and innocent! Surely those elders will understand! Look, I am even shocked at the joke that single sisters go to the convention for fellowshopping and not just fellowshipping! SIX videos I showed, not sex videos!

MimZ could barely control her indignation. “You showed SIX sex videos?! O you vile vile man!