Invading the Dopey Planet
May 08, 2020
Sir, we’re picking up a transmission from earthling TV. Let’s eavesdrop and learn stuff that will help with the invasion!’
‘Good idea, Okkshat! Onscreen!’
‘My doctor told me to try Ecstatica. I’m glad he did. No more dragged-out feeling. No more sad thoughts. No more cramps. No more gut aches. I feel alive! Thank you, Ecstatica.’
‘Looks like we’ve hit pay dirt, Okkshat. Stealing this Ecstatica will make the invasion worthwhile. Let’s listen some more.’
‘Ecstatica may cause dizziness and vomiting, swelling and constipation. It may cause heart palpitations and elevated cholesterol, which may lead to death.’
Captain Dgdung threw down his clipboard in disgust. ‘You’ve led us to a planet of morons, Okkshat! They’re too stupid to conquer! Guards, throw him out into deep space! That ought to cool his jets!’
*** From the ebook: No Fake News but Plenty of Hogwash
Comments