Okay people, I need not tell you that if we make them happy with Smilaplenti, it means big revenue for us. Effluent makes a lot of drugs! We’ve made good progress. Mostly we have to work on disclaimers and some narrative. ‘Now remember, Smilaplenti is not ‘instead of,’ it’s ‘in addition to.’ We need to work on the wording here.

‘Don’t give up on the progress you’ve been making with your current antidepressant.’

‘Bambi, you moron! They haven’t been making any progress on their current antidepressant! That’s why there’s Smilaplenti. C’mon people, think!’

‘Don’t give up on the progress you may have been making with your current antidepressant.’

“‘May have been making.’ That’ll work, Donner. Okay, let’s move on. Now, the line ‘Smilaplenti cures depression’ needs work. What do we have?

‘Smilaplenti may cure depression.’

‘Better, Blitzen, but still too strong.’

‘Smilaplenti may help cure depression.’

‘Look, we don’t want the FDA on our backs! C’mon people!’

‘Smilaplenti may help ease depression.’

‘Better, Chewee. Almost there. Just a little bit…’

‘Smilaplenti may help ease the symptoms of depression.’

‘Brilliant, Flooker! One last item. On the list of side effects, we’ve got: ‘which may lead to death.’ That’s not good. Hmmm…’

‘Tell your doctor right away if you experience death.’

‘Great! Let’s wrap it right here. I think Effluent is going to be very happy. Oh, and Prancer, that doctor with the ‘PSYCH DR’ vanity plates on his Lamborghini is not going to work. Find someone who looks like he gives a shit, will you?’

From the ebook: No Fake News but Plenty of Hogwash