Click here to begin with Part 1.

I’m jealous of the Babylon Bee, of course, and not just for landing the Musk interview. The Bee started up just 5 years ago and is larger than my site by a factor of a gazillion.

Trouble is, if you’re really really into current events to the point where the players themselves, good guys and bad guys, loom huge in your consciousness, than any reading of JW literature will be pure dullsville. Jehovah’s Witness writing gets bland just when you expect punch and punchy just when you prefer bland.

It is often hilarious—the Babylon Bee is, but it is also intensely political. Taking shots at this or that politician, or celebrity, or anyone who’s trending, is what they do—it’s probably just a seat-of-the-pants impression, three quarters of what they do. They are almost 100% solidly GOP conservative, much more that the Latter Days Saints, who otherwise top the list. And they almost completely confine their satire to what’s trending in America. What’s trending in Canada, Mexico, Europe, Asia, Africa, Australia, South America—for the most part they haven’t a clue. Most people live in one of those other places. The BB is into America. 

Witnesses, on the other hand, are an international religion that identifies with politics not at all. The socially conservative jibes of the Babylon Bee will for the most part resonate with them, too. But to the extent the Bee leans toward ‘the right set of politicians’ who will, if given half a chance, fix this world’s problems—no, that doesn’t resonate with Witnesses at all. Their take on God’s Kingdom is that it truly is a heavenly government that does not find its expression in any human government.

Moreover, to be an ambassador of the reigning Christ will surely make one neutral with regard to human governments, just as a citizen of Mexico will not vote in the Canadian elections. Look at that Pew chart again that the LDS top for political involvement. See Jehovah’s Witnesses there? By far they have the largest contingent of non-involvement for politics. I am convinced that the number would be still larger if they didn’t self-report—that is, if those who reported were as the congregation itself would define as Witnesses, those who have an active share in the preaching work.

Witness publications speak in generalities regarding human governments, seldom naming names. That is because it is the play they are watching, not the players in the play. You don’t have to know the names of the actors to follow the play—it can even be a distraction if you do. Moreover, naming a particular villain inadvertently creates the impression that removing that actor will solve things. Instead, another actor who has all the lines down pat instantly steps into the vacant shoes and the play continues. No, you’re not going to see the villains named in Watchtower publications, nor even the heroes. It cannot be reliably told even who they are. One nation’s hero is another nation’s villain in this fragmented world. Witnesses leave political opinions behind upon becoming Witnesses. Those opinions are part of human efforts—sometimes well-meaning, sometimes not—that are hopelessly incapable of even ‘directing our next step,’ as Jeremiah 10:23 puts it.

They do have a cool music-montage video opening at the Bee, though. Just check it out at the start of the Musk interview. The ray-gun eyes of Trump zapping everything in his gaze is just too much! It really is. Let’s face it—Trump was a hoot and if he was not a savior that most evangelicals made him out to be, that does mean he was a dud. His greatest contribution to me was in unleashing the hostile crazed froth between factions that make it impossible to deny the 19 disagreeable adjectives of 2 Timothy 3:1-5 (fierce, backbiting, not open to any agreement) characterize our time as no other.

However, nothing in the sphere of humans is perfect. Witness neutrality? Greater than what I’ve ever seen elsewhere, yes, but what about during the Olympics?

On the second day of the Olympics, I mentioned to Tom Pearlsnswine in the field ministry that Hillary had worn a bright pants suit. “Christians are no part of the world!” he rebuked me. On the third day of the Olympics, at the Kingdom Hall, I told him that Trump had tied his shoe. “We must fix our eyes on Jerusalem above!” he said.

On the fifth day of the Olympics, I dropped by his home while he was watching the games on TV. He screamed: “Look at that medal count, Tommy!” he shouted. “We’re cleaning up!”

….Now I see Babylon Bee takes posts from contributors. Does that mean I can slip one in? I don’t have a lot due to the points made above. But that doesn’t mean I have zilch. What about when they caught Trump saying some really nasty stuff and he didn’t think he was being recorded but he was, and then Melania dismissed it as ‘locker room talk?” Reporters out to get him didn’t buy that excuse for a second. I ran this post, “Reporting Live from the Locker Room.” It’s not current, of course. The BB would have to update it:

....

“Good evening. We’re broadcasting live from the locker room tonight to reveal to America just what goes on in this previously obscure culture that has so suddenly thrust itself upon the national stage. We’ll interview some players in this intriguing venue. Ah, here’s comes a jock now. “Hey! Yo! Whazzup? We’d like to ask you some questions.”

“Why, good evening sirs, madam. You must be members of the news media. Welcome to our humble locker room. It’s not much, but we like to call it home.  Please make yourselves comfortable. There are refreshments in the adjacent room, just past the gentleman snapping his neighbor’s buns with a towel.

“Charlie, it’s as we thought. They’re not crude at all here. There is no excuse for candidate Trump’s crass words! People here are quite refined and sensitive to gender rights. They are just…”

“HEY, YA WANNA GET YOUR CRAP OUTTA HERE?! I CAN’T GET TO MY @%!# LOCKER!”

***visit the bookstore: